What’s a group of mums called?

When I took my toddler and baby to the park this afternoon, I looked up towards the playground gates and saw the familiar sight of a group of mums approaching. As the pushchairs filed through, I thought they looked like a parade, each mother in charge of their procession car. But mum life is hardly a bank holiday picnic. I corrected myself: they’re more like a convoy. A line of articulated lorries or tanks, ready to get sh*t done. 

But it got me thinking – what is a group of mums called? I mulled it over as I pushed my kids on the swings.  

My first thought was to borrow ideas from the animal kingdom, like a ‘herd’ or a ‘pride’ but it’s always bothered me how a lion gets called the King of the Jungle when he lets the lioness do all the work. I thought of better examples of female leadership: maybe a ‘hive’ or a ‘web’ of mums. 

But it’s not like spiders or bees are particularly known for their parenting skills. Keeping to the human world, I thought a better description would be a ‘yawn’ or an ‘exhaustion’ of mothers. (It certainly matches my mood when writing this.) Perhaps even a ‘guilt’ as it seemed to be my most constant state since having children. Unfortunately, for many, an ‘anxiety’ or ‘depression’ would be more accurate.

If the focus was on it being a group then a ‘tribe’ would convey the warrior solidarity of mum friends. Unfortunately, for every link in your support network, there’s a new mum clique at your local baby group, making a ‘coven’ or ‘gossip’ more appropriate. 

Perhaps a group of mums should be named after what they deal with each day, becoming either a ‘tantrum’ or ‘demand’ of mothers. We could even be a ‘troupe’ to reflect how we must provide 24 hour entertainment. I also considered a ‘pause’ to demonstrate how mothers have to put their career on hold when little ones come along, watching as others get promoted above us. (I particularly liked this idea as expectant mothers could be called a ‘pregnant pause’.)

In the end, I googled it: the collective noun for a group of mums is a ‘consternation’, which according to google is ‘a feeling of anxiety or dismay, usually at something unexpected’. It works pretty well actually – the feelings of being a new mum and the unexpected amount of work that comes with a small baby. Then that dismay grows with the child, giving their parents more anxiety as they become mini adults.

It reminded me – let’s look after our ‘consternation’. We’re all in this together.