Self-care tips for mums
It’s Valentine’s Day. You’re meant to be spoiled rotten with good food, gifts and lots of putting your feet up. But let’s face it, you’re a mum so that’s not going to happen. If you have a little one, it could be a sleepless night; if you have a big one you’ll be getting backchat and demands. So this Valentine’s Day I’m celebrating SELF love and care. None of these suggestions are that extravagant because I want you to actually do them and let’s face it, in a world of washing, caring and tantrumming, you don’t have much time for you.
Three texts a day
It’s so easy when you become a mum to lose a part of you. The days are long but the months are short and before you know it, you’ve blinked and they’ve started nursery. But the world has also moved on and you might find that your once close friends have disappeared too. Healthy interactions with other people promote your brain’s release of the ‘happy’ chemicals oxytocin, dopamine and serotonin – but it’s hard to even leave the house when you have little ones. So my suggestion is to send at least three messages a day – not quick ones to a group chat but actual conversations to specific people. Some days I even find this difficult so I find myself stealing my mobile away to the toilet at lunchtime or sending messages out past midnight, after I’ve settled the baby for the evening.
Eat well
I’ve already mentioned supplements on my beauty self-care list but eating well with lots of healthy snacks and meals is just as important for gut health. Many people think of depression and anxiety as a chemical imbalance in the brain but these chemicals are created in the gut, and nearly 90% of the body’s serotonin – the ‘happy hormone’ – comes from here. Fish, bananas, muesli, nuts and berries are all mood-boosting health foods. And the good news? Dark chocolate is scientifically proven to make you happy too.
Perfume
Your sense of smell communicates directly with your amygdala, a part of the brain that helps regulate emotions – that’s why scents that trigger positive memories often help improve your mood or relieve anxiety. I suggest buying a perfume you really like to give you some regular joy throughout your day (if you can give your wrist a regular sniff) but if you have an actual moment of free time, aromatherapy with essential oils would be a great place to start. Or try to stop by a neighbour who’s just mowed their lawn for the smell of freshly cut grass if you really have no time at all.
Back massager
I don’t know about you, but I have a permanent dorsal fin of stress on my back. It could be from lifting babies and toddlers, not getting enough sleep or from hunching my shoulders in worry when I hear my children wailing every hour on one of their cranky days. A portable back massager helps iron out those tense back muscles, when even the most hands-on of husbands aren’t available (Homedics do a great one on Amazon). It also works well on your feet – another place which holds muscle tension.
Make a playlist
This is a great way to hold onto your non-mum identity when you’re out and about in the car. Happy, upbeat music causes our brains to produce chemicals like dopamine and serotonin but more importantly, anything which reminds you of good times is going to put you in a good mood. If you’re a mum of little ones, you might be used to hearing The Wheels on the Bus on repeat on Spotify but you can find a middle ground of good songs which are suitable for new talkers (see my baby speech playlist for ideas).
Don’t leave health issues
The times in my motherhood journey where I have been most stressed have been when I’m ill. When your body is crying out for care, you have to dig deep and prioritise caring for your kids instead. It’s tough. So if you have any aches or pains, don’t leave them and let them get worse. Try to pre-empt when you’re likely to hit a tough spot: bother the doctor for your appointment and make use of the flu jab . Have some pain relief and anti-flu meds in the house. Try to think of your health as your family’s health too, if you’re in need of any extra motivation.
Leave the house for 15 minutes each day
We all know from the pandemic how demoralising it can be to see the same four walls each day and how important it is to get out and about. With little ones, that’s not very easy – and let’s face it, not very relaxing. Making sure that your partner can cover the kids (it can be when they’re asleep if it helps you to leave the house ), try to find a reason to get out for a short trip each day. My excuse is to walk the dogs but I’ve also used popping to the shops or driving to get petrol. I often drive to get my Click and Collect one evening a week and often I find with all these little errands that I’m actually pleased to return to the house when I come back – mess and all.
Three victories a day
This was something my partner and I introduced: each evening, come up with three victories of the day. Celebrate the new words you’ve heard your toddler say or extra moves your baby has made across the playpen. They don’t have to be big – sometimes it’s celebrating getting the kids out for a walk in between rain showers – but make a point of patting yourself on the back for the small victories. This has really helped our family out in the past when we think we’ve had a Bad Day. By rounding up the mini highlights, we realise we’re doing OK after all.
Look at old photos when you’re feeling down
This one isn’t too tricky as I’m sure there’s plenty of proud photo frames across your house but make use of photos and videos on your phone, in albums, on your computer. The idea, apart from seeing a succession of adorable baby pictures, is to remember how far you’ve come. Even in a few months, your child may have learned to walk, talk, use a spoon, kick a ball. It really is incredible. It will make you realise the impact you make just being mummy and make you nostalgic for the times that may not have alway been easy, but were very rewarding.
Mindfulness
If you’re not this kind of person, it might all feel a bit ‘woo woo’. Mindfulness involves being really present in the moment so it might be practising breathing techniques or saying good morning to yourself each day – or maybe even making use of a mindfulness colouring book. Some practise yoga – although it’s hard to find the time with little ones. Whatever you choose, it’s all designed to destress you. You can try this website as a free resource: palousemindfulness.com
Still need more? Read my blog post on easy fashion and beauty tips for overwhelmed mums.
