Why living with a toddler is like being a prison inmate

Your life changes forever when you have a baby. After that first night home with your little bundle of joy, you soon realise that things will never be the same again. While routine is important for little ones, you find it doesn’t take long before they’ve taken over your life. Add to that some temper tantrums and by the time they’ve turned two years old, some days it feels like you’re living a life of hard labour. Here’s 10 other reasons why living with your toddler can be like a stint in the slammer…

Toilet and shower breaks are quick.

An ambush happens the moment you drop your guard. There’s no time to linger when a toddler could be committing their next offence.

Lights out, no noise by 8pm.
Because do you want to wake a sleeping toddler, putting them out of their routine for the next two days?

You sleep with one eye open
Every unexplained noise during the night is something to fear with a pre-schooler around. 

Mobile phones are smuggled
NEVER leave your phone unattended around a toddler. In fact, don’t even show them you have one.

There’s often a fight at mealtimes
Ironically, you’re trying to hand them a knife. And encouraging them to stab with a fork.

When a new person joins the wing, there’s a power struggle
Turf wars exist when a newborn brother or sister comes along.

Leaving the house is on par with escaping from Alcatraz
You see the same four walls every day.

There’s practically a uniform
You wear the same shapeless sweatpants over and over and over.

Visiting hours are limited
And conversations are monitored. By a very curious and loudmouthed guard.

You can’t show weakness 
You’re doomed if you don’t gain their respect.